Monday, October 17, 2011

Crimson & Clover

Now I don't hardly know her, but I think I could love her, Crimson and Clover.  
Over and Over.
Well if she come walkin' over, now I think I could show her, Crimson and Clover.  
Over and Over.
My mind's such a sweet thing, I wanna do everything, what a beautiful feeling. 
Crimson and Clover.  
Over and Over...

Everything feels good and right.

  Some of the plans I thought I wanted have now made room for what is making me happiest. My husband, family and friends have been so supportive throughout the journey I've been on, and I am grateful to the core.  My plan to join the USAF is no longer...I tried for too long to convince myself that this was the right thing for me.  All I really wanted was money for college and for starting a family.  But the military is not for me, though I have the deepest respect for my husband, our family and friends who have been successful making that happen for themselves.

  I want to be a beam of support for my husband, who has established himself very well in the military.  I want to go to school, and I can make that happen now, I don't have to put it off.  I want to start a family and so does my husband...and so that will happen as it will.  I'm ready to accept what I know is right for me, no more waiting to know if the time is right.

 Why do we restrain ourselves in this way?  There isn't a right way to do anything, there are only successful examples to learn from.  So why do we inhibit our potential by proclaiming only certain criteria be met first?  As if there is a to-do list we are given upon birth.  There is only to-do what we impose on ourselves or allow ourselves to take on.  It's all self-initiated anyway, so why fight our gut instincts?  I don't have the answer...but I know I'm tired of living by anyone else's expectations and/or measurement of success.

  This doesn't mean that I've lost my drive to do well for myself, I've just redefined that drive with actions that fulfill my happiness and feed my soul.  Loving, learning, creating,'s everything I enjoy and I'm going to thrive on it now.

  I hope to develop my purpose with time, and hope you will too.

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